


I Think You Might Know Him

by orphan_account



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: I mean that doesn't mean shit when you're in the astral plane, Kravitz is a good boyfriend, M/M, Minor Character Death, Right?, SO, Sazed is a bad person, Taako deserved to beat Sazed's ass, You can see where I'm going with this, but that would be sort of difficult in this situation, i guess?, kravitz's time to shine babey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-10-13 18:37:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20587163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "Sazed was many things. Half-orc. Cook. Agent. He was also very, very dead."Which, if you've unknowingly made enemies with the literal Grim Reaper for that one thing you did to his boyfriend a couple years ago, is not a very good thing to be.





	I Think You Might Know Him

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted a fic where Kravitz beat the shit out of Sazed and while this didn't end up being exactly like that 'cus I'm... lazy... I'm still glad I satisfied that bug. 
> 
> But... like.. if ya'll know any like that... send em over my way, yeah?

Sazed was many things. Half-orc. Cook. Agent.

He was also very, very dead. 

He wasn’t sure of what happened, and he didn’t really care much besides, so he didn’t prod his wacked-out brain for any information. He knew he was dead, and that was what mattered. And it was weird that he knew that, given his memory was so foggy when it came to the events leading up to his not-so-tragic fate, but he did, anyway. There was something about this place--this misty, tiny island surrounded by an endless sea of dark  _ something _ , that just  _ told  _ him he had died. Behind him was a building made of solid looking stone. It was a prison, but he didn’t know that yet. It carried a thousand evil things inside it. He  _ did  _ know that, just from the sight of it alone.

And then there was figure, wreathed in a black cloak and bearing a skeletal face with two brightly glowing orbs that apparently passed for eyes in whateverthefuck afterlife Sazed had landed in.

“What the fuck,” he breathed, because really, what else could he do? 

The skeleton didn’t respond, choosing instead to stare him down with eerily calm fury. The tension was going to break, though. Sazed could feel it. It was building, building, blowing up like a cheap balloon at a child’s birthday party. And, oh boy, someone was gonna end up crying when it blew up. The skeleton flashed with the briefest of movements.

Sazed turned on his heel and ran.

Immediately, a tear split the world open in front of him, and the skeleton was back. And also, he wasn’t a skeleton, but instead a very attractive man. His eyes still burned, though. Both literally and figuratively. Sazed yelped and threw a punch. It felt like punching a fucking rock. He hissed and retracted his hand, checking his skin over for wounds, forgetting he was, in fact, dead. 

The Handsome Guy flicked his wrist and--of fuck--he was holding a gleaming scythe. His face was grim. Angry. Tired. And underneath it all was a bubbling eagerness that scared even Death himself. (Sazed didn’t know that, though. His ability to read emotion was about as refined as a certain dwarf’s healing abilities. All he saw, when looking into the eyes of a being who might just kill him twice, was Fury.) Sazed tried to scramble back. He tripped, over seemingly nothing, and fell backwards on his ass. 

“ _ Fuck- _ ” He spat. 

He looked up into the eyes of  _ whoever  _ this was. A cold shiver ran up his back, cold sweat dripped down his face, and stomach-dropping feeling he’d had since seeing the figure seemed to enhance, somehow, as he stared up that scythe.

“Are you  _ Death?” _ He asked. 

Finally, the figure spoke.

“I have… many names.” He said, slowly. He took a step forward. “The Grim Reaper is one I’m sure you’re familiar with. I’m also simply known as a Bounty Hunter. Servant for the Raven Queen.” Step forward. Pause. “‘Thug’”. And amusement may have crept into his voice if this hadn’t been what it was. If the dead man before him went by a different name and wore a different face. “I also have many responsibilities.” Another step forward. Sazed moved backwards. “A responsibility to my Queen.” Step forwards, crawl backwards. “A responsibility to the people of this plane.” Another. He swept a hand around the dark water surrounding them. “A responsibility to throw you into the choppier waters of this collective stream of lives and be done with you.” He lunged forward, then, planting a foot on Sazed.

“That’s all you’re supposed to get. A slap on the wrist, really.” He bent forward, slightly. “Compared to that, at least.” He pointed a bony finger--as in one that was quite literally bone--towards the one building on the island. “The Eternal Stockade. It’s meant strictly for necromancers and liches. Jailbreakers. People who refuse to stay dead. Not very enjoyable, as I’m sure you can imagine.” Sazed dragged his gaze over to the Stockade for a moment, just a moment, before looking back at the being just a few inches away from him. “Forty-- _ forty  _ people, Sazed, and you get a  _ beach vacation. _ ” His handsome facade started to glitch, to fall. 

“That--that wasn’t my fault!” Sazed snapped. “I didn’t  _ mean  _ for--it was supposed to be one person. One fucking  _ asshole _ , not--” He cut himself off with a huff. “He should’ve tasted it first, that fucking idiot--he should have--” He didn’t get a chance to finish. Death had an iron grip on his throat

“My biggest responsibility,” said Death, “is to my husband. I think you might know him. From TV?” Sazed tried to choke out a word, but the grip holding him was tight. And it stayed that way as Death, The Grim Reaper, Servant of the Raven Queen, and Tentacle-Dicked Thug dragged his ass into the Eternal Stockade.

**Author's Note:**

> For more TAZ shit check out my Tumblr @Imgonnaposteventually
> 
> And, like, for real though, slide any Kravitz-fucks-Sazeds-shit-up fics my way


End file.
